Fish and Cherries Productions

The Ridiculous 6 was a painful nightmare to get through. I know I shouldn’t expect much from Sandler’s modern repertoire, but this was rock freakin’ bottom. Where do I begin? The complete lack of respect for the Native American tribes in this movie, with names like “Smoking Fox” and “Wears No Bra?” The disgusting portrayal of mentally challenged people and babies that were exposed to alcohol in the womb as the fools? The fact that we’re supposed to take a donkey’s explosive diarrhea as a joke so funny that we make it a running joke throughout this poor excuse for a film? The lack of any capable or respectable women? The fact that our market is being clogged up by another of Adam Sandler’s self-insert hero fanfiction? Vanilla Ice as Mark Twain? No, the absolute nadir of this garbage is Rob Schneider playing a Mexican, face paint and all, who talks about tacos nonstop and travels everywhere with his burro. I’m not joking. This movie actually uses brownface and it’s absolutely disgraceful.

Netflix, where this movie was released, categorizes it as a comedy. Someone must have been asleep at the wheel when that happened because this is the least funny experience I’ve had in a while. Not a single joke worked, save for a few chuckles at this scene where baseball is invented, it’s rules being made up arbitrarily on the spot by someone who doesn’t want to lose. But even that is ruined by the fact that it’s an utterly pointless detour from the plot that just goes on and on. The entire plot could have been cut down severely as there was so much in this film that only serves to waste time. In fact, you could say that about the other five leads. None of them do anything of significance, save for Sandler, who is a white-guy-raised-by-Native-Americans superman performing impossible feats with absolutely no flaws. Everyone else? They’re drunk, stupid, incoherent, or bogged down by the fact that their race is their personality. All of them are foils and fools to make Adam Sandler look better. But Sander is not an action hero; unless you give him a funny accent or a good script, he’s as boring as whale shit. (Marine biologists who do fascinating experiments on whale shit should not take this as an opportunity to watch his movies.)

Happy Madison Productions is everything wrong with Hollywood all rolled into one company that treats logic like a cheap punchline. I’ve only seen a few of their thirty-nine films, but that’s enough for me to know that this company needs to die. Yeah, I liked Sandler’s movies when I was younger and even a few quality ones from when I was older (Funny People and Reign Over Me comes to mind, but rest assured, they’re a minority) and I’ve heard he’s one of the nicest guys. But I grew up and it’s very clear that Sandler didn’t. What I find less funny than the dated and really ugly jokes is practically half the GDP of the Marshall Islands being blown on a movie that clearly was only meant to be funny in Sandler’s circle of friends.

I really hope The Hateful Eight cleanses my palette of this movie before I try to see if the world has enough moonshine to make me forget this cinematic root canal.