Fish and Cherries Productions

Creative content from a mad mind.


The Death of Justin Carmical

Justin Carmical, a well-liked contributor on renowned website That Guy With The Glasses known as JewWario, died this past Thursday. While I did not watch many of his personal videos, I saw him in other people’s works and he seemed like a very fun and likable person. Many of the site’s other contributors talk about what a joy he was to work with. But this past Thursday, for whatever reason, he shot himself at age 42 in his bathroom.

I cannot judge Justin because I don’t know what kind of pain he was going through. At my very core, though, I feel that if I had gotten famous on the internet and had been picked up by That Guy With The Glasses, I could have done something, talked to him maybe. I know what it’s like to wrestle with thoughts of not going on and even though I don’t like them, those thoughts are hard to truly banish as you go forward in life. So perhaps, if I had gotten to know him earlier, I might have been able to help his wife talk him down, maybe even give him a perspective on what it’s like to stand at the edge, looking down into the abyss and thinking of jumping. But I can’t know for sure.

In truth, it hits close to home because this is another example of a person on the internet that I’ve respected falling into a dark place and I can’t help but wonder if it could happen to me too. I don’t know what it is to be famous outside of a small community, so I don’t know what all that exposure does to a person. I imagined that as long as I knew there were people that cared about me and fans that loved me, I would be fine and happy. But Justin was one of the most beloved people on the site and that didn’t help him. I honestly don’t know how I would cope if the world just came crashing down on me.

It feels strange mourning a man I’ve never met. There are some who believed Justin is forever damned, but they know nothing. God does not seem like a being who would condemn someone just because they were suffering in life. Again, I have struggled with feeling of suicide in the past and will probably continue to struggle with them for a long time. I implore everyone reading this to reach out to their friends and let them know that they are loved. Be there for them, look out for them, and step in if they look like they are overwhelmed by life’s challenges. To suffer is not to be weak and they need to know that they have support. Cherish the moments you have with your friends, for it might be those moments that could save them.

Posted under Musings

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